Six obstacles to your success

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What is holding you back? Why haven’t you achieved your potential? Simple questions – not so simple answers. Here’s a short list of obstacles that prevent you from achieving greatness:

1. You are scapegoating through life.

All of your problems are caused by someone else or something else. Everything (at the very least, most things) are beyond your control.

Man, it depresses me just to write this stuff down. I can’t imagine how someone who truly believes this must feel. Napoleon said, “I create the circumstances that affect me.” This is true. Stuff happens to everybody – You are not special in that sense. The universe is not picking on you. Crap hits everybody. Make up your mind to deal with it and then deal with it.

Accept responsibility for your actions or more likely your inaction. Decide that you are not going to take it anymore. Then don’t take it anymore. The simple fact that you are reading this is evidence that you are searching for direction. Here it is: You have every right to be successful in life. Make it your quest to soar above your present situation. Once you make a decision, begin to search for answers and the help you need will be revealed.

Decide to be the master of your destiny or relegate yourself to being pushed around by circumstances beyond your control. It’s really up to you.

2. You are self-absorbed.

You know who you are. You get bored when someone else is getting the attention. You have the best stories (we’ve heard you one-up everybody). It’s always all about “you”.

Here is a wake up call: You are boring and dull. The only reason we listen to you is because either we are too nice to walk away or we realize that the politics of the organization we are a part of would be violated.

Your potential is diminished because you don’t understand that you cannot influence others when it’s obvious that you don’t care about them. Zig Ziglar said, “You can get anything you want, if you help enough other people get what they want.”

In order to help yourself, you must help others. There’s no better long-term strategy to achieving your success. As Dr. Phil would say, “It ain’t about YOU!”

3. You allow others to make your life decisions.

You know how it goes; someone (Mom, Dad, or whoever you deem as influential) says you should do “this or that” with your life. Why? How do they know what you want? Or how you feel?

The family needs you to become a lawyer, or doctor, or accountant, or football star or whatever. If you want me to pay for your college, then you’ll major in what I tell you to major in.

To some of us, this seems absurd, but it happens. Really. Here’s a secret, if you are not happy, then you will not be able to make anyone else happy. The only thing that is sure is that by compromising you desires for someone else you will be filled with resentment and hurt.

Eventually, those emotions will be revealed. Why not cut to the chase and deal with it now? You’ll be happier in the long run and probably save a heap of money in psychoanalyst fees.

4. You are filled with subconscious self-doubt.

You are filled with doubts and thoughts of inadequacy. You feel undeserving. If you don’t believe in yourself, then why should I? Or anyone else?

The short answer is that no one will believe in you. Therefore, by the simple act of thinking, you have defeated yourself, regardless of your abilities.

Everyday, average people just like you and me have fantastic, original, creative thoughts and ideas. But just as quickly, they are dismissed and discarded for the simple reason that they must be of no value if a simpleton like you thought of them.

People tend to overestimate the talent, ability and intelligence of others and then compound the problem by underestimating their own attributes.

Read “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale. It is a classic and deserves to be. Learn some meaningful affirmations and use them. Become a true believer – in yourself.

5. Your are afraid.

I am not even going to attempt to list the wide variety of fears that hold people back.

You must think of fear as the fence that keeps the herd in the pasture of mediocrity. You were not built for mediocrity. You are unique and you have unique abilities – use them.

6. You have no clear goals.

At least you are not alone. Studies and statistics that have been repeated many times prove that only 3–5 percent of the population have a tangible, written set of goals. Remarkably, this is the same percentage of financial independent people in the U.S. and world.

Do you think there is a correlation? It’s a no-brainer. Write down your goals and go over them daily. It will change your life.

Tags: obstacles, success

Maximize your thinking skills: 4 steps toward mental excellence

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soupornuts is moving!!! In order to have more control over my blog (how it looks, plugins, etc.) I have decided to move soupornuts.wordpress.com to soupornuts.com. When you come to soupornuts.com, you will see my new postings along with updated and edited versions of most of my old articles. Don’t panic if the site looks different the first couple of times you visit. I am trying different themes to see which I prefer.

There is a conversation that is constantly going on in our heads, yet we seldom take the time to consider how great an impact it has on our lives.

“You are what you think about all day long.”

“You are the sum of your thoughts.”

“Your tomorrow is based on today’s thoughts.”

These are quotes that most of us who study inspiration and motivation recognize and have heard or read many times. I can’t remember who said each one of them, but I believe that they are factual statements. I believe that our thoughts produce our lives. Something that is not tangible (our thoughts – you cannot touch one) creates something that is tangible (our lives). Something being created from nothing. That’s a post for another time.

Can we overstate the importance of developing our thinking ability? I don’t believe that we can. But many people blindly rush through life without any idea that they can and do control their own destiny. We’ve all heard, “your future is in your own hands.” However, I think it would be more accurately stated, “your future is in your mind” or in how you use it. Here are four ways that you can use your mind to increase your thinking skills.

1. Expose your mind to good input.

I don’t advocate television, but I realize that it is a fact of life and we have two in our home. I do believe that they can be used to increase your thinking skills. If you must watch TV, then watch the channels and programs that will promote your thinking. National Geographic, Animal Planet, TLC, Science, Discovery, HGTV, PBS, business and financial programs.

Just as lying around on the couch is detrimental to your physical condition, so to does watching crap lead to mental ineptitude. Read more books, blogs, magazines, and technical manuals. Find a topic that interests you and become an authority on it.

At the very least, ask yourself, if you were at a dinner party, “Could you hold up your end of an interesting and stimulating conversation” or would you be relegated to nodding and smiling, all the while hoping that no one asks you your opinion? Television seldom provides subject matter for stimulating conversation.

2. Get out of your comfort zone.

Visit a museum, then visit another. Take your kids to the zoo or a planetarium. Discus science, technology, politics or religion with your family. Set aside a specific time each week for all family members to present something new they learned during the past week. Then talk about it in detail.

Show your children that you are a multi-faceted individual who has thoughts, ideas and great thinking skills. Children emulate what they see and who knows, you may inspire a future Nobel prize winner.

3. Spend some time with good thinkers.

This is almost a no-brainer. You become like those you hang around. How many times did you hear your mother say that? Guess what? She was right.

I am fortunate in that I am part of a group of thinkers who constantly force me to keep up or get left behind. These are my inner circle and they poke, prod and test my thinking. Each one is very intelligent and each has their own special interests. But we all make it a point to expect great thinking from each other and typically, you get exactly what you expect.

Good thinkers provoke good thinking. They don’t just ask for your opinion, they expect you to justify and defend it. Because of my group, I am a better thinker.

Look at the people who occupy space in your life. Do they encourage progressive thinking? If not, you don’t need to get rid of them, but you do need to seek out people who will stimulate your mind and add them to the people you associate with.

4. To stimulate creative thinking, get out of your rut.

By rut, I mean your unconscious, habitual ways of drifting through your daily life. If you stop to think about it, I’ll bet:

• you get dressed in the same way everyday

• you brush your teeth and comb your hair with one or the other hand, but always the same one

• you take the same path to work

• you arrive at about the same time everyday

• …you get the picture.

Being habitual is not conducive to creative thinking. Being different is. Make it a point to do any and everything differently. This forces your brain to get off of autopilot. Do you remember the act of brushing your teeth this morning? What were you thinking? Chances are, you don’t remember because you were on autopilot.

Anytime that you do things differently, you force your brain into action. It has to adapt. Create new neural pathways. Validate actions.

Brush your hair with your less dominant hand ( you can go back over it with the other one later ), change priorities, change pathways, change your life.

It has been estimated that we have about 60,000 thoughts a day. How many do you remember? How many were remarkable? Isn’t it amazing how our mind transitions smoothly from one thought to the next? Each new thought is seamlessly and effortlessly tied to the previous thought and provides the springboard for our next thought.

Take a moment to think about your thinking skills and realize that it is your greatest asset. Your thoughts today will produce your life tomorrow therefore, mediocrity is not acceptable!

Tags: thinking, mental+excellence, thinking+skills

Definitions, plans and excuses for success

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soupornuts is moving!!! In order to have more control over my blog (how it looks, plugins, etc.) I have decided to move soupornuts.wordpress.com to soupornuts.com. When you come to soupornuts.com, you will see my new postings along with updated and edited versions of most of my old articles. Don’t panic if the site looks different the first couple of times you visit. I am trying different themes to see which I prefer.

Everyone wants to be successful. However, if you ask 100 people to define success, most of the time, 95–97 of those who answer, will be extremely vague. This is not unusual since studies have shown time and again that only about three to five percent of the population will ever define what success means to them and then map out a goals program with the associated plans for attaining their goals.

1. How do you define success?

Success is unique to you. How you define success is based on:

• your dreams
• your hopes
• your present situation
• your past experiences
• your knowledge
• your passion
• your drive to do or be
• your family situation
• your age
• your belief system

…and there are probably a host of other things that can and will influence your definition of success. The point is for you to begin to think about what you want. Make notes when a thought “pops” into your head. Then, set aside a quiet time to go through your thoughts, taking into account your unique situation, and then develop a definition of success that suits you.

2. Develop a plan to achieve your definition of success.

Since your definition of success is unique to you and your situation, then your plan must be unique. Points to consider:

• do you need more education?
• is it formal or informal education? (do you need to return to school or do you need to do research?)
• is your spouse/family on board with your new goals? (if so, great. if not, how will you deal with the situation?)
• are you willing to devote the time needed to grow? (growth requires change – you can’t grow and stay the same)
• can you see problems? (how will/can you deal with them?)
• can you live in the minute? (what can you do “right now”, “this minute” to achieve your goals?”
• do you deserve success? (if you don’t feel that you deserve success, you will do things to sabotage yourself)

3. Excuses: our illogical reasons for lack of success

The first response to any program of personal growth and development is the production of a number of excuses of why you can’t become successful. Here is a short list of often expressed excuses:

• I’m too old. Really? Grandma Moses was in her 80’s before she ever painted. Colonel Sanders was in his 60’s when he began trying to market his “original” recipe.
• I’m not smart enough. Really? The fact is that most people are within single digits of the vast majority of the world’s population when it comes to a measurement of intelligence. We tend to overestimate the intelligence of others while at the same time underestimating our own intelligence.
• I don’t know where to start. Really? You don’t have to know where to start, you just have to start. You determine where that is. The point is to just begin, the way will reveal itself once you begin to look.
• I’m worried about what my friends and family will think. Really? If they really care about you, they will stand behind you. If they don’t, you have to wonder what their motives are. Are they jealous? When you succeed, what will that say about their efforts?
• I’m just not that kind of person. Really? What kind of person are you? The kind that is destined to fail? The fact is that most people are more alike than they are different. We all deserve success, but we each determine our own destiny. We are where we are today because of the choices we made yesterday. We made our choices based on our thoughts. Therefore, it stands to reason that if we can change the way we think, we can change our choices and thus change our future.

These are not valid excuses for you or anyone else because someone has faced these situations and overcame them. If they can be overcome, then you can also overcome them.

Get your mind right —– Mediocrity is not acceptable!!!

Tags: definition+of+success, plans+to+achieve+success, excuses

Building a successful life

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soupornuts is moving!!! In order to have more control over my blog (how it looks, plugins, etc.) I have decided to move soupornuts.wordpress.com to soupornuts.com. When you come to soupornuts.com, you will see my new postings along with updated and edited versions of most of my old articles. Don’t panic if the site looks different the first couple of times you visit. I am trying different themes to see which I prefer. 

A couple of years ago, my wife and I built our dream home. A 3200 square foot, timber framed, hybrid over a full basement. It’s beautiful. We love it. But, as anyone who has ever gone through this process will tell you, it takes patience, commitment, perseverance and teamwork.

There are reams of documents that must be filled out and submitted to bankers, lawyers and contractors. There are hordes of decisions to be made, analyzed, corrected and then remade. There is the constant juggling of your schedule to accommodate contractors, sub contractors, appraisers, bankers, suppliers and more. There is the never-ending need to coordinate the sequences of events. Do we need the plumber first or the electrician? What about the sheet rockers and trim carpenters? Then of course, you have to constantly be mindful of quality and cosmetic issues.

But now, we are living our dream life in our beautiful dream home and all the stress and hard work seem insignificant. It was worth it – every drop of sweat, every agonizing decision, all the missed sleep – it was all worth it.

In retrospect, it’s seems very clear to me how similar the process of building a house is to building a successful life. Like building a house, building your successful life involves a number of decisions prior to the actual construction process.

Make the decision to have a successful life

My wife and I own a beautiful twenty acre tract of land that we envisioned would be more beautiful with our dream home on it. But nothing really happened until we made the decision to make it happen. You can tour as many model homes, open houses and home shows as you like, but until you actively decide to build your dream home, nothing will get done.

The first step is deciding that you want to build your dream home and then determining the actions you need to take in order to make your dream a reality. How big is it to be? Where will you build? What style? Financing? Blueprints? Contractors? It all starts with your decision to start.

Creating a successful life occurs in the same way. You see friends or acquaintances who seem to be enjoying a fuller family experience, a better career or greater financial security and you wonder, “why does their life seem to be more successful than your own”? Most of the time we’ve been lulled into the rut of complacency by default and inaction. We don’t realize we are in a rut and we don’t realize that there is more available to us if we will only seek it out.

Do you want a more successful life? What does “a more successful life” mean to you? Is it career advancement and more compensation? Closer family relationships? Financial prosperity? Entrepreneurship? All of these? Just like building your dream home, these are the types of decisions you must make.

It all begins with you acting on the vision that you hold in your mind of what you want and deciding to pursue your dream life.

Your blueprint for success

What will it take for you to reach your vision of success? If you are building a house, you start with a set of blueprints, assembly drawings, lists of necessary materials, spec sheets and architectural elevations. These are the documents that specify the materials, sizes and placements, functionality and appearance of your dream home.

Just as it would be impossible to build your dream home without a blueprint and the associated documents, you can’t build a successful life without a plan. No one ever wakes up one day and discovers that while they were asleep, they were selected to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. It just won’t happen. But if it did, how long would you last in that position if you had made no preparation for the job? I’m sure you’ll agree that it wouldn’t be long.

Your plan must define what success is to you, the steps you plan to take to get there, the skills you feel must be developed, the knowledge required, plus allow for contingencies along the way.

Develop your goals

You must develop your goals system. No one can do this for you. This is a stumbling block for everyone and this is where almost everyone falters on the path to success. For whatever reasons, most people (95 – 97%) cannot, do not, or will not set goals for themselves. I am referring to actual written, recorded goals and the plans ( action steps ) necessary to achieve their goals. If you cannot make yourself focus long enough to record your goals, is it any wonder that your life is one of unrealized potential?

According to statistics that are repeated time and time again, three to five percent of our population is considered financially free and financially successful. Ironically, this is the same percentage that take the time to develop goal programs for themselves and then dedicate themselves to achieving their goals. Is there a correlation?

Develop a set of goals. Define what it is that you require, then get busy taking the necessary actions to achieve your goals. Don’t wait. Don’t hesitate. Focus on your goal. Develop a plan and take action. Do it now.

Every time that you are faced with a decision, ask yourself, “Is this the best use of my time?”, “Will this action/decision take me closer to or farther from my goals?” Then, act accordingly. If you will take the time and make the effort to do this every time you face a decision, you will increase your chances of becoming the success you dream of, exponentially.

Character & Integrity: Your foundation for a successful life

Webster’s dictionary defines character as “moral strength” or “reputation”. How would your friends and co-workers describe your character? Are you honest? Sincere? Trustworthy? Loyal? Friendly? Helpful? Caring?

These are some of the characteristics of people who are considered “strong of character”. If you demonstrate these traits, then you don’t have to tell the world what you believe and stand for. Your life will show it.

Webster’s says integrity is “firmness of character”, “honesty”. How firm is your character? Will you stand up for what you believe in? Will you oppose the majority even if you have to stand alone? Will you defend the oppressed? Even if the oppressors are your friends?

Our integrity and character define what we believe in and what we stand for. The way we talk, the people we associate with and the places we frequent all tell the world in a much louder voice than our own, what we truly believe in.

You would not build your dream home on a faulty foundation and cannot build a successful life on a weak character or a lack of integrity. Your new life would never be able to withstand the storms or trials you are bound to face along the way. Begin today to always stand for what you believe in, fight against opposition to truth and always, always keep your word.

The walls of your successful life

The walls of your home provide you with protection for the elements, security from intruders, and provide support for your roof system. The first wall of your successful life is a positive mental attitude.

Your first wall: A Positive Mental Attitude

All successful people are highly motivated and possess a positive attitude. They know inherently that they are destined to succeed. Every event and every action is seen as a means to deliver them to their goal. These individuals believe that the universe is conspiring for their benefit in all things. Furthermore, successful people have an optimistic view, believing that the glass is always half full.

An action that does not go according to plan is not a failure, but a learning experience – the elimination of a theoretical solution and not an indictment of them or their abilities. Their positive mental attitude is demonstrated by the confidence with which they attack the obstacles standing between them and their destined success.

Successful people are reminiscent of Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Colonel Sanders and all the rest who stumbled along the road to success but refused to quit because they courageously maintained a positive mental attitude.

Your second wall: A Strong Work Ethic

All successful individuals demonstrate a strong work ethic. Their mantra could be – “If it is to be, it is up to me.” In their mind, this is not an optional or part-time trait. Generally, they work long, long hours.

A truly successful life can only happen when you realize that in order to have it (success), you must get off your butt and go get it. You will not find it in front of you television, down at the bowling alley, over at the local bar, or out in your hobby shop. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there is anything wrong with any of these means of killing time other than that is what they are doing – killing your time and they do not contribute in any way to acquiring the successful life you desire.

To achieve a goal worth having requires hard work. Ask any person whom you consider to be successful how they achieved their status. I don’t believe any will say, “ I just wake up one day, went to work and they made me president of the company” or “My business just took off one day while I was watching TV” or “ The kids came and got me out of the bar and gave a Father or the Year party.”

No, every successful person realizes that his/her effort brings about the desired result. The buck stops here. You must take responsiblity for your own success and happiness. Truly successful people have the ability to clear their minds of the common distractions that we all face and focus on their goals. This ability to focus results in the development and implementation of plans that produce the achievement of their goals.

The successful person is action-oriented. They don’t take a wait and see approach. More than likely, they will start whatever it is they wish to accomplish and then make adjustments along the way based on feedback they are monitoring. I’ve heard it described as the “ready, fire, aim” approach. The point is, there comes a time when you’ve got to take action.

Your third wall: Passion

Few successful people have ever reached their status without passion. Passion is what drives you. It’s what you lie in bed and think about at night, examining new ways of approaching pertinent issues that you are faced with. Passion is the fuel that powers your engine. If you desire to be successful, find out what it is that you are passionate about and then develop a way to exploit your passion.

Your passion is anything that constantly occupies your thinking. It may be a hobby (woodworking, restoring antique automobiles, computers, entrepreneurship), your family, or any combination of things. Only you know where your passions lie.

Based on what your passion is, embrace the fast-changing landscape of the internet to research innovative ways to capitalize on your passion. All successful people understand that the future of technology is all about the proliferation of information via the internet. It is to your benefit to embrace this fast-moving technology and try to keep up with emerging advancements and how you can apply them to your passion.

Use your passion, be innovative and embrace new technology (it’s not going away). This will help you to welcome change which is just another way of saying, “be progressive with your passion”.

Your fourth wall: Perseverance

The last wall of your successful life/house is perseverance. The never-say-quit, refusal to give up attitude. Sometimes we see these people struggling and we wonder why they even bother. I know people have asked that about me. The reality is we set our eyes on our goals and nothing will deter us from achieving it.

The obstacles we encounter are only opportunities to display creative problem solving skills. Nay sayers only make us (me) want it more. Those who truly believe in us motivate us beyond words.

Those who succeed thrive on pressure, embrace deadlines, are committed to overcoming obstacles and are determined to succeed. They won’t quit. The don’t quit. They can’t quit. Think Rocky Balboa and his refusal to stay down in the original Rocky movie. That’s perseverance!

Your roof: Continual Learning

To protect the interior of your dream home/successful life, you need a roof. That roof is a commitment to continual learning. Someone said, “If you’re not growing, then you’re dying.” I am in full agreement with that statement. Our minds thrive when we stimulate them and provide them with challenges.

Subconsciously, we limit ourselves when we say, we can’t do something or “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”. This sets us up to fail. The truth of the matter is we can and will learn anything we want to learn if we are given the right motivation.

Twenty five years ago, few people considered the long-range impact the PC would have on every aspect of our lives. Consequently, most people did not rush to learn how to use them. However, everyone now realizes that computers are an integral part of our lives. To survive in our present world, we must adapt and adopt this technology.

What you know today will not be enough tomorrow. It is as plain as that. Don’t be left behind. Commit to learning. Everyday.

Maintenance

Finally, in order to enjoy your new home/successful life, you must maintain it in good working condition. Do periodic self-evaluations. Try to stay humble. Give back something. Mentor someone. Be introspective. Remember to thank those that helped you along the way. No one becomes successful without help.

 

 

 

Tags: success, a+successful+life

6 small steps for daily growth and long-term personal development

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soupornuts is moving!!! In order to have more control over my blog (how it looks, plugins, etc.) I have decided to move soupornuts.wordpress.com to soupornuts.com. When you come to soupornuts.com, you will see my new postings along with updated and edited versions of most of my old articles. Don’t panic if the site looks different the first couple of times you visit. I am trying different themes to see which I prefer.

This blog (soupornuts) is written to inspire, motivate, educate and help you become the person you can be. I believe in goals and the power of goal setting. The first step in the journey to becoming a “new” you is to have in your mind a clear picture of the person you want to become. Without a clear picture of what you want in your mind it is like traveling down a road that divides into a number of different options. How do you choose which option to take? If you don’t have a goal, It really doesn’t matter. Does it? If we don’t know where we are going it really doesn’t make any difference which road we take to get there because they all lead to the same place – the land of lost dreams, lost hope, missed opportunity, and regret.

I also believe that we are the sum total of the past decisions we’ve made. All those little and not so little decisions have resulted in placing us right where we are today. The point? Change your perspective from one of passivity to activity. Make up your mind that today you have a purpose and a goal. And your goals are whatever YOU determine the goals to be. Realize that starting today you can actively determine your future by making decisions today that are in line with achieving your goals. If you can make only a small step in the direction of your goals, you have something to build on tomorrow and you begin to gain momentum.

Be easy with yourself. Here are some of my goals for today.

1. Today, I will make it a point to smile at everyone I meet.

Not a sly or seductive smile, but a “happy, How’re you doing” smile. Researchers say that one of the first things people notice when they meet another person is the presence or absence of a smile. If you smile, 99 percent of the time they will smile back. They can’t help it. Someone has to actively force themselves not to smile.

A smile puts people at ease. It comforts them and is welcoming. The vast majority of the time your smile causes the recipient to smile in response to you. The simple act of smiling causes the release of endorphins in the brain resulting in a pleasureable feeling of happiness. The simple act of smiling can cause someone to physically feel happy. What power.

2. Today, I will engage someone in conversation.

I’ll ask, how they are doing. An then I’ll actually take the time to pay attention and listen to their answer. People like to talk. This is my opportunity to give some what they want. People need to talk. People want to talk to a willing and attentive listener. This will provide me with the chance to allow someone to vent their needs and emotions. Or maybe just communicate. Maybe they want my opinion, maybe they don’t. If they do ask for my thoughts, I can spread a little good news, offer a suggestion or provide them with a source of information they might find helpful.

3. Today, I am going to assist someone.

I’ll help a little old lady with her groceries or my daughter with her homework. By offering assistance, we show others that they have value to us. Because we value them, we want to help them.

Who can you help today? Does someone you know need a ride? Can you pick up something for your spouse on the way home from work? Do your kids need some specials one-on-one time with you? Take them to the park or play in the yard. Get involved in their lives. Give them you most precious commodity – your time.

4. Today, I will embrace the opportunities a new day presents.

Today, I have the opportunity to start fresh and handle every situation independently of every previous interaction. Today is a “do-over”. I can attempt to correct or modify my previous mistakes or learn from them what “not” to do again.

I will embrace the changes that a new day brings because all progress and growth involves change. I want change. If I am going to progress on a personal level then it stands to reason that I must change and I will start the changing process today.

5. Today, I will be thankful for all the joy and blessings that are mine.

I choose to see the good in everyone and everything. I will give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I will be appreciative of what I do have and not be upset, saddened or discontent about what I don’t have, because I realize that my happiness is determined by what is inside of me and not what I possess. I will tell those close to me that I love them because I am not promised anymore than the present moment. I don’t want to ever regret a missed opportunity. I will hold my wife and hug my children and be eternally thankful.

6. Today, I will grow.

I will dedicate a portion of today for the purpose of expanding my mind. I will read or research a topic that interests me because I understand that “a mind is a terrible thing to waste”.

I choose not to watch television because I prefer to be in a meditative state of mind and not a vegetative one. I understand that what I allow to go into my my mind will be revealed in my thoughts, words and actions. I will experience life personally and not through the filter of broadcast media.

These are the things I will accomplish today. Each of these steps, though small and insignificant at first look, propel me toward the person I want to become. These are conscious decisions that I make and renew each day. For me, these simple decisions and declarations are the first steps in becoming an enlightened person, a happy person and a productive person with a great life.

Tags: daily+decisions, growth+and+development, goals

The power of a kind word

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soupornuts is moving!!! In order to have more control over my blog (how it looks, plugins, etc.) I have decided to move soupornuts.wordpress.com to soupornuts.com. When you come to soupornuts.com, you will see my new postings along with updated and edited versions of most of my old articles. Don’t panic if the site looks different the first couple of times you visit. I am trying different themes to see which I prefer.

This past Sunday (Mother’s Day), my wife, my daughters, and I went in search of a digital camera. Having done a little research on our own, we had narrowed our choices down to a couple of manufacturers and models. The decision was made to make a purchase this weekend. We went to a couple of retailers who specialize in the camera trade and began to ask questions. Much to our surprise, we found the best, most knowledgeable, most helpful and friendliest representatives at Best Buy. We were so impressed with the two representatives that helped us that after we had completed our purchase, I asked to see the store manager.

I approached the store manager, introduced myself and told him how happy we were with the individuals who had assisted us in our purchasing decision. The manager thanked me, encouraged me to go online and fill out a survey and to note the names of the representatives on a submission form and then he took out his personal business card and told me to present it the next time I was in the store for a ten percent discount on any purchase.

Wow! That was not what I expected or wanted, but it made an impression with me.

After leaving Best Buy, we headed over to Outback because that’s where my wife wanted to eat. The parking lot was full and people were milling around the front doors. I knew immediately we were in for a wait, I just didn’t have any idea how long it would be. I approached the matre’d and he immediately informed me that the approximate waiting time for a table would be 70 -80 minutes. My wife noticed that there were a couple of empty tables in the bar area and we asked the matre’d about them. He said they were available on a “first come, first serve” basis. After a quick consult, we headed to one of the tables.

There was an empty beer bottle and a wet rag on the table. I quickly wiped the table down and put both the bottle and rag near the edge of the table. A few minutes later, a very harried waitress showed up and began apologizing for the dirty table and her tardiness. I said, “Stop, for just a minute.” She looked at me questioningly and I said, “we all want to wish you a happy Mother’s Day.” Her eyes lit up, her face beamed and she literally gushed appreciation.

To make a long story shorter, our food was excellent. Our service was quick and our waitress was very attentive. As if all this was not enough, while my wife and daughters were gone to the restroom and as I waited for our check, our waitress returned with a big bowl of ice cream, chocolate syrup, whip cream and a cherry. Gratis. Free. On the house.

I realize that desert did not represent a huge outlay to Outback, but the smiles of delight on the faces of my daughters were priceless. And to think that it all hinged on taking the time to genuinely say a few words of kindness.

Both of these instances illustrate that people appreciate being appreciated. It was a great opportunity to teach my children the power of a kind word.

Tags: powerofkindness, a+kind+word, kindness

Your word & Righteous compliments – my two point hot list for timeless traits

 The article will begin below this paragraph

soupornuts is moving!!! In order to have more control over my blog (how it looks, plugins, etc.) I have decided to move soupornuts.wordpress.com to soupornuts.com. When you come to soupornuts.com, you will see my new postings along with updated and edited versions of most of my old articles. Don’t panic if the site looks different the first couple of times you visit. I am trying different themes to see which I prefer.

Today’s world in general and the internet specifically is all about what’s hot, new and exciting. What is the “next big thing?” Who’s on top? What’s popular? Who’s in the news? Did you Diggit or Buryit? It is exciting to not only be the first to see the latest, breaking news story, but to also be involved in it’s proliferation.

However, regardless of of popular opinion, there are some things that in and of themselves mean something. They stand alone. They do not need the seal of approval of society, popular opinion or any one else. This is my two point “hot list” of inherently valuable principles.

1. YOUR WORD

If you say that you are going to do something, then do it and do it in a timely fashion without anyone having to remind you that you said you would do it. There is no value/principle that is more important to you personally than the trust that others place in you because they know “you’ll get it done.”

Like most trends, it’s popular to say, “I’ll get right on it”, “I’ll get in done”, “It’s a done deal”, or the classic “The check’s in the mail.” But in order for your word and thus you to be valuable, your word must be carried out. It must be fulfilled. Every time. Every, single time.

This gives the people who surround you, whether in a personal, business or social setting, confidence. Confidence in you and your integrity. Confidence in you and your ability to come through – to get the job done. You become the “go to guy/gal” because you always get it done, regardless of the obstacles.

When you always get the job done, people will begin to seek you and your services/abilities out. Your value increases and you can begin to demand greater compensation because “you always get it done.” This is all a result of the fact that when you say you will do something, you do it. You have created your power because you live up to your word.

2. RIGHTEOUS COMPLIMENTS

Everyone likes to feel good. Everyone wants to feel good. You have the power to fulfill this need and desire. Stop for just a moment and consider the pride you feel when someone notices your work or your effort. You step livelier. You hold your head higher. You try even harder because it feels good to be appreciated.

It is basic human nature to need to be appreciated. I have personally seen more bad work attitudes develop in industry simply because workers did not feel appreciated, nor were they shown any appreciation by management. This is simply a bad, bad business practice.

The cost of a “thanks”, “nice job” or any acknowledgment of appreciation by management is minimal if anything. But the value is incalculable because you cannot put a dollar value on a good attitude. It is priceless, overlooked and could be had with a simple “thank you”.

Do you want to increase your bottom line? Your company’s value? Invest in saying “thanks”, “nice job” and “I appreciate your effort”. A righteous compliment is a small investment with a potentially priceless return. Use them to your advantage.

Tags: integrity, honor, motivation

Your Power’s of Influence

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soupornuts is moving!!! In order to have more control over my blog (how it looks, plugins, etc.) I have decided to move soupornuts.wordpress.com to soupornuts.com. When you come to soupornuts.com, you will see my new postings along with updated and edited versions of most of my old articles. Don’t panic if the site looks different the first couple of times you visit. I am trying different themes to see which I prefer.

I am constantly awed and humbled by the things that my daughters notice, whether it’s something seen or heard. The fact that they’ve noticed these things is often revealed to me in either a quiet one on one conversation or while observing the two of them playing together. Here’s a news flash. They see and hear everything I do or say, they adapt it to whatever it is they are doing and then over time, if allowed to go unchecked, they adopt it into their lives. I’m sure that if you have children, at some point, your child repeated a word, phrase, idea or thought that took you a little while to realize where it came from.

The eye-opener is that I understand my influence only because I am constantly exposed to my daughters. I make it a point to talk with them and treat them as intelligent, partially grown human beings. They respond by eagerly developing into two smart and inventive little girls.

I realize the effect of my influence on my daughters only because of my continual exposure to them. This made me begin to wonder, “How many people to we influence that we don’t know about and how do we influence them?” I’ve decided to call these ways “our Powers”.

1. THE POWER TO INSPIRE AND MOTIVATE

When others see us attempt and then accomplish a task, meet a deadline, overcome an obstacle, go back to school, learn a new skill or go beyond what is the status quo, they realize that “it” can be done. They are inspired to “do more” and “go beyond”. By our attitudes, character and actions we have the power to move others. We have the power to motivate them to pursue their goals because we show them that a worthwhile goal can be achieved.

2. THE POWER TO LEAD

Some individuals are natural born leaders while others have the role of leader thrust upon them. Who looks to you for leadership? Your friends, co-workers, children, spouse, others? You would be surprised. We may not see ourselves as leaders, but the odds are the someone looks up to us as their leader. Are we exhibiting good leadership qualities? Do we demonstrate integrity, a solid work ethic, preparedness or a host of other qualities that we expect our leaders to have? Remember, never expect more from others than you are willing to give. It is a sobering thought to know that someone is watching and emulating what we say, what we do, what we think, how we act and the attitudes we portray.

3. THE POWER TO TEACH

You have skills. You know things. Perhaps you:

a. know a shortcut for doing a particular job

b. know a tip or technique for doing a task more efficiently, quicker or more economically

c. know who to contact to get that “certain something” done

d. have devised a system that others are unaware of

e. know where to go for the answers

Tell someone about your unheralded skills. It will make you feel good to share plus you will help someone else become more productive. Rest assured, 99% of the time, they will give you the credit for developing their skills.

4. THE POWER TO LEARN

If you want a new skill, then learn it. It doesn’t matter whether is is becoming proficient with a new software package or learning how to use a handplane (a woodworking tool), you can learn. Your mind is like a muscle, it never loses it’s ability to increase it’s functions. You can develop new skills and abilities through hearing, observation, imitation and deduction. The only realistic limitations we have are the ones that we place on ourselves.

5. THE POWER TO ENCOURAGE

It is truly amazing when you stop to realize how much affect a few words of encouragement can have. A simple “good job” or “nice try” lets others know that we see and value their efforts and accomplishments. One of the largest complaints that I hear in my position is, “no one respects or appreciates what I do”. Studies have shown that workers in general are more likely to perform better, quicker and more efficiently if their efforts are noticed. Continual improvement is more reliant on this than even financial gain.

Stop to encourage others with a word of appreciation or a smile. The benefits will be long lasting.

Tags: thepowertoinfluence, influence

Time Bandits

The article will begin below this paragraph

soupornuts is moving!!! In order to have more control over my blog (how it looks, plugins, etc.) I have decided to move soupornuts.wordpress.com to soupornuts.com. When you come to soupornuts.com, you will see my new postings along with updated and edited versions of most of my old articles. Don’t panic if the site looks different the first couple of times you visit. I am trying different themes to see which I prefer.

Time is our most precious resource. When it slips by, it is gone. Forever. The successful millionaire and the average Joe are just alike when it comes to time. Each is given the same amount each day. It then becomes very easy to see that those people who are financially successful must use their time in a more efficient manner. The truth of the matter is a man or a woman usually finds the time to do the things they want to do.

If we were like Rip Van Winkle and took a nap one day then woke up and it was twenty years later, we would be furious. Waking up twenty years older, seeing our children grown and with children of their own, it would be worse than any nightmare. But is it any different when we allow minutes and hours to be stolen from us each day? Is it only the magnitude of the time that makes it a nightmare?

There are events, technologies and people who unnecessarily take up our time each day. I call these things Time Bandits. Time Bandits steal your time. A minute here, a half hour there, a little at a time so you barely notice. But time is gone just the same. The following are some of the most common Time Bandits:

1. The Telephone: a great device for communicating with someone who is not in your physical vicinity. Do you really need to spend as much time on the phone as you do? Just because it rings doesn’t mean you have to answer it. Learn how to relay your message to the recipient in as an efficient a manner as possible or learn what they are trying to say to you, then move on.
2. E-mail: another handy device for communication. But do you really need to check it every 5 minutes? Must you reply to every email? There is no doubt that it is both a convienence and a time trap, but it can be tamed and used for your good. Set aside a special time to check and reply to your e-mails. Ignore it otherwise.
3. Cel Phone and Text Messaging: sort of a hybridization of the worst of the telephone and e-mail. They have their benefits, but for your sake, use them in moderation.
4. The Office Talker: you know who I’m talking about. They stop by to “shoot the breeze”, but all they kill is your time. Not only are they not doing their job, they are making sure that you are not doing yours. Do yourself a favor, institute some boundaries and introduce the Talker to them. You’ll thank me later.
5. Television: the drone box. Do you think you’ll be lying on your death bed and lament that you would have liked to watch a few more episodes of some show? I doubt it. Be productive and expand your mind at the same time. Read. It doesn’t matter if it is a book, magazine, or an online article, but use your mind.

We live in a time when there are more time-saving devices than ever before and yet we have less time. How is this possible? Time is what we want the most and then use in the worst possible ways. When we waste time, we are devaluing our life. We will never get it back.

We must “seize the day” and “grab the bull by the horns”. Ask yourself, “Is what I’m doing right now the best possible use of my time?” This simple question, if asked prior to beginning any new task will help you in your endeavor to spend your time wisely. Does reading this blog help you? Does it provide technical or motivational information that is worthy of the time you are devoting to it? If the answer is yes, fantastic. If the answer is no, then stop reading now and move on to something that facilitates your growth and development. Don’t waste time. You don’t get a do-over.

Mr. G: a 3-D success story!

Mr. G is an extraordinary individual. He is an expert craftsman, a highly skilled technician, a college instructor, an entrepreneur, a business partner and my friend. He is active and responsible on all these fronts professionally while at the same time being very conscious of his family’s needs and his responsibilities to them.

Recently, Mr. G has become something of a 3-dimensional success as well. Since the fall of last year, he has been able to reduce his weight by over 70 pounds. Being his friend, I have been able to see his progress and how he tackled this tremendous task. Never once have I heard him complain about the foods he is missing, the extreme effort this has taken, or the time he has devoted to exercising.

Because of his attitude and effort, I have used the term 3-D as an acronym to describe the characteristics he has exhibited during his journey to a healthier lifestyle. The three D’s that set him apart are:

1. Decisiveness

Mr. G is a decisive person. At some point last fall, Mr. G decided that he would change his lifestyle. Now any of you who have embarked on journey of change know that there are many obstacles along the way to success. However, the first step is never taken by many because of they fail to make a decision and then to remain committed to that decision. The first step in obtaining any goal is deciding that your goal is what you want and is worthy of your pursuit.

Mr. G decided to change his lifestyle. Notice that the initial step of his journey began in his mind with a decision. Change your mind first and then your life will change. Your thoughts determine both the quantity and quality of your life.

2. Dedication

Mr. G dedicated himself to learning how to be successful in his endeavor. He did not leave things to chance. He obtained the necessary information from experts in the areas of nutrition, physical fitness, exercise and motivation. He dedicated himself to acquiring and using the knowledge necessary to distinguish himself from the masses who seek to become healthy and fail.

Once he became more educated, Mr. G dedicated himself to developing a plan of attack with subgoals and ways to monitor his progress along the way. He has left nothing to chance. He knows when, what and how to eat. He knows how many calories a certain food has and if it is eaten in combination with another food, how it will affect his insulin levels and thus fat production and storage. He dedicated himself to starting and maintaining an exercise program because he knew this was a mandatory step in the realization of his goals.

Mr. G dedicated himself to obtaining his goals and having produced in his mind the vision of his future self, has not wavered along the path to success.

3. Determination

Determination is the unwillingness to quit, falter or give up, keeping your eye on the goal and forging onward, unstoppable. Mr. G has made steady progress. I have never heard him complain once of the effort this must have taken. I’ve never heard him complain about what he could or could not eat. I’ve never heard him complain that he has to get up a 4:00 a.m. to go workout.

Mr. G’s determination has been an inspiration to me and to many more that have watched his progress.

Mr. G decided that he wanted to be healthier, he devoted himself to learning how to become healthier, he applied his knowledge to the acquisition of his goals and he remains determined today.

Last night, a mutual friend commented to me, “You know, Mr. G seems to hold his head higher. He seems to stand taller.” I agreed with him and I realized that Mr. G may be smaller on the outside, but he is much, much bigger on the inside.

He is a real-life, 3-D success story.